I received an email on my phone today that actually caught my attention – unlike the handful of emails I find myself deleting each morning out of habit (I should work on unsubscribing more often). The attention grabbing email was from WordPress, and it was notifying me that my subscription was going to renew in 2 days since my year was up.
I’ve had this website for a year now (in two days).
Not that you’ve seen it for a year – I did a lot of prep work before I took the website live. But wow – so much has changed in a year! Outside of New Year’s Eve or my daughter’s birthday, I never really take the time specifically to think about how much has changed in a year.
So much has changed for me in one year’s time –
- I started out on this blogging journey.
- I’ve learned A LOT about blogging do’s and don’t’s.
- I’ve gotten slightly better at taking pictures.
- I’ve gotten a little better about time management (but not much).
- I’ve learned a bit more about the size of “my plate” and when I have too much on it.
- I’ve learned that I’m really not good at some things I’d like to be good at (like painting).
- I’ve learned that I’m actually good at things I’d never thought I would be good at (like wood crafts).
- I’ve gained new skills that I hope to go even further with.
- I’ve enrolled to finish my bachelor’s degree.
- I’ve un-enrolled for my bachelor’s degree in business and re-enrolled for a bachelor’s degree in Graphic Design.
- I’ve un-enrolled for my bachelor’s degree in Graphic Design and have completed courses to become a Web Developer.
- I’ve re-enrolled for more Associate’s degrees in Front End Web Design, Web & Database Management, and yes – Graphic Design.
- I’ve learned that I’m not as bad at math or logical thinking as I always thought I was.
- I’ve lost 20 pounds.
- I’ve gained back 15 pounds.
- I’ve decided that my focus right now is not on the numbers on the scale, but on being healthier overall – mentally and physically – and making lifestyle changes that are small baby steps toward someday worrying again about that number on the scale.
- I’ve found through experience that time truly does go faster the older you get, and that it’s hard to have it all.
- I’ve learned that there are friends out there that understand that, and will be there three months – or six months – or nine months later to pick back up exactly where you left off ages ago when you weren’t quite as busy as you are now.
- I’ve learned to recognize in myself when it’s time to phone-it-in.
- I’m still learning that when I’m afraid of failing or letting other people down, that there are no other people to let down but myself, so I should stop making up imaginary people that will be left down by my “failings” (lack of consistent blog posts, changing school directions once again, still having a credit card bill because for some reason I just cannot commit to not spending money on things).
- I’ve learned that no matter how old I get, I’m still going to make bad decisions sometimes, but life goes on.
- I’ve still not gained much patience in my life, but have instead learned ways around my lack of patience and how to be calmer.
- I have a lot of room to go still toward being calm.
- I’ve been to another new foreign country.
- My husband and I got matching tattoos in the new foreign country. His faded quickly, and mine got infected.
- I have fully lived many times the idea of “too good to be true.”
- No matter how hard I try, I’m still NOT an outdoorsy person, and I don’t think I really ever will be.
Possibly the biggest thing that has happened over this year is that I’ve truly learned that there are things in my life that I am unhappy about, and what those things are. It can be hard to pinpoint the thing that isn’t working for you, but I believe I have. And I believe I’m taking the steps necessary to fix it. It’s been a slow road – and it’s hard when I see people doing similar things much faster than I am (some have started and succeeded in the time that I’ve still been working on it). But I’m sure there is an adage about how things that take a long time and are hard are usually better than if they weren’t hard or didn’t take as long.
I’m going to fail along the way.
I’m going to get frustrated along the way.
I’m probably going to waste a little bit of money along the way making bad decisions and failing (see above). But money is just paper. They print new money every day, right?
I think it will be worth it. I think I’m teaching my daughter important things by being at class at night when I’d rather be home with her. I think I’m teaching her that you have to work hard at life sometimes to make it how you want it, and it’s worth it. Nothing is truly ever given freely, and you can’t count on luck to get you through.
What does all of this have to do with blogging? Well, nothing, and everything. Taking the plunge and putting myself out there has opened me up to new possibilities and reminded me of what I enjoy spending my time on, which has led me on many paths I wouldn’t have known otherwise. Hopefully all will become clear and transparent in the next coming months.
I guess the moral of this almost-anniversary post is to put yourself out there, fail, make mistakes and bad decisions, but keep growing and learning. Because the only time you are DONE learning, DONE evolving, DONE changing as a person, is when you are dead. There is no age of being done, or having your life together.
What’s the phrase? If you want God to laugh, show him your plans? I’m sure I have that wrong, but the sentiment is there. If you think you’ve finally got it all sorted and your ducks are in a row, those ducks could be running amok at any moment.
Be ready with a duck grabber.